I am still here

Well, it has been a while. Living in Cologne has been such a journey so far. I am already living here for six months. I can't believe how the time has flown and how I am still here haha. I mean it was my goal when I decided to move to Cologne, to start my life here but as you might know, I am a nomad by heart, so staying in one place for a long time can cause discomfort for me. Which I find funny because I know a lot of people who actually find discomfort in leaving their homes. Anywayss.. by now I am speaking basic German thanks to a course (what a pain in the ass) and losing my skills in English and Dutch, so please bare with my writing in this blog.

The people in Cologne This city is special. I feel it and hear it from many others here. The city looks grey from the outside, but the people I meet, and in my circle, are so warm and open-hearted.

When I left Amsterdam after having a blessed time living with my beautiful friend, I felt worried I would lose the connection to sisterhood, to conscious spaces and to people who are open-minded and open-hearted. The people I met at the tantra festival in Amsterdam also really gave me the feeling of belonging, belonging to people who feel intensily and express vulnerability in these spaces without judgement. Well, It has been an even bigger play field for me here. There are big conscious community groups that offer all kinds of events on Telegram here (yes they use Telegram and Signal here, so my amount of apps has also increased lol). From breathwork and yoga to mantra singing and ecstatic dance. I feel a lot for the mantra circles. Wauw.. how heart-opening these have been for me. I mean it depends on where you go because there are circles where people kinda remix a mantra and I find it hard to follow, but I found a down-to-earth community that organises beautiful flowing mantra circles. They also organize ecstatic dances that give me the same vibe as the dances in Odessa, in Amsterdam. 

Also, one thing that I recognized here is that I can simply wear whatever I want without being noticed. It sounds maybe a bit silly because you can always wear what you want, but I definitely have the feeling that in the Netherlands people care more about how they look and here I have the feeling people wear whatever they like and what is functional, so not perse the latest fashion.

Forest and lakes

I have the feeling the people here are more connected to nature, and it makes sense because I can simply walk into a forest or lake here instead of having to drive for a while. I love to go on hikes and now that it is getting spring all these colours and the return of the birds make me feel so grateful to be here and proud that I stayed through all the seasons (also a first time hihi)

I have also been exploring my love for cooking even more, with actual non-pre-chopped vegetables (also thanks to cheaper prices compared to the NLs), and I am learning so much about the medicine of many herbs and spices. Might also be me being lucky to have fallen in love with a gardener hihi and also having beautiful women connected to Mama Nature in my circle.

It can be the law of attraction, but I just feel at home here. This time home is not on the other side of the world but next to the country where I was born. It is perfect to stay physically in touch with my friends and family in the Netherlands.

Working in Germany

Trying to find a job in a new country while you are not speaking the language (yet) and where English is not enough, is not easy. My ego is triggered at times to start from the bottom while I have a bachelor's degree. And with starting from the bottom I mean this literally: I am cleaning toilets and floors in a spiritual institute and working in Gastronomy. I must say I am learning a lot from doing the basic things. It creates awareness. It has also been my own decision to start here since I wanted to change my career from working with animals to the yoga, and tantra world and I am working now in this spiritual place of Osho's where I get to network, get to know different types of workshops and meditations and broaden my perspectives by hearing about people their interesting life paths, which mostly include India.

Social life

I have and still am meeting so many beautiful people. Making friends during my travels is something I can do, but growing friendships when you move to a place haha well, that is a different topic. The thing is people are already living their lives here, having their routines and to then grow new friendships takes time, and patience because people are opening up their circles to let me in. This is also where I have realized that there is a difference between me who wants to travel in the interest of a new country and me who wants to travel out of fear of being alone. Travelling can give me the feeling of having control over my life and the people in my life since I am the one on the move. In that case being left alone is nothing I am confronted with. Staying in one new place without the security of my social circle on the other hand has confronted me already. So I am growing, I think more than ever with actually staying in one place and feeling alone in times. But no worries I am already planning travels haha